Jarrod's laws to life

I'm sure we've all heard of Murphy's Law. If you're so far under a rock that you haven't heard of it, I doubt you're the blog reading type. You're still living in a cave discovering fire or something. But just in case some spelunker found your cave and dropped an iPhone and you've managed to discover the Internet, basically, Murphy's Law states "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."

Much like Murphy's Law, I've found some truths to life that annoy me. And what's a blog for but the random whining of people who either can't get their fill of whining to their friends and need a larger audience, or their friends have all abandoned them due to their incessant whining. So, without further ado, here's Jarrod's laws to life. This will probably be added to and revised a lot.

1) The Stacking Law: When cleaning/organizing and stacking items, any object protruding over the one below it, no matter how small the overhang, will see the force of gravity multiplied how ever many times necessary to make that upper item topple over. Do you know why the Leaning Tower of Pisa hasn't fallen? It's not "over" anything. If something were below it, it would fall like a band geek's self-esteem at a jock party. (I can share from personal experience, the fall is meteoric in nature.)

Pictured: Stuff about to fall.

2) The Belt Law: This is similar to the first law. If you place your belt on a surface and any part of that belt hangs off the edge, that part of the belt will weigh several times more than the rest, and make it fall.

The next group of laws are traffic laws. No, not the things that some dude in aviator shades with an awesome mustache will make you follow.

What's the problem here, meow?

No, I mean laws in that these things can never be broken. Ever. I'm sure you've experienced it.

1) Inverse speed law:
There is an inverse relationship between the speed of the car in front of you and whether or not you're in a passing zone. Meaning, if you're in a no passing zone, that bastard is crawling. Once those double yellow lines open up into a pattern of dotted freedom, that same bastard now becomes Tony Stewart, except you're the one whining about coming in behind, not him.

Pictured: A bastard. In more ways than one.

2) Inverse traffic law: While driving behind that person who apparently has never heard of cruise control, you will also notice that there is an inverse relationship between the amount of traffic and passing zones. When you're stuck in a no passing zone, there is not another car coming. But the second that long awaited spot comes, and you're actually able to get around the bi-polar driver, all of a sudden a parade the likes of which no Memorial Day Celebration has ever seen immediately comes the other way.

3) Timing law: This is one I'm sure we've all experienced. The later you are, the worse traffic will be.

That guy is running very, very late.

I've found that the frustration follows us, despite traffic woes, to the store. It would seem that there is a relationship between how much you enjoy a product, and the likelihood that it will be discontinued. This is determined by those barcodes. You thought the UPC scanner was just to help inventory and what not. Right...and the social security number is just so you can get money from the government some day. (Wrong on so many levels.) No, the UPC is how they track what you buy, see what you purchase the most and then discontinue it. Why? Because they're bastards. That's right, they're the same jerk who was in front of you laughing as he altered speeds along with the passing lane situation.

I'm sure there are more laws...I'll be adding to this as I think of them. For now, enjoy this bit of knowledge, for knowledge is power.